My back was a screaming 8 before I got in bed. I just got up to piss and due to balance issues half-fell on the way back, which would make it higher. Legs are a flat 3 most of the day but walking long distances or on stairs made it a 5, arms (not the hurt parts from cleaning Candis's car) were about a 2 and the injured back, neck, shoulder, biceps were a 5 most of the day. The back was made worse through the days activities and trying to get out Coloring books for Maddy.
I am so sick of not being able to sleep and getting my wife pissed off because of it. I wish she could understand that day/night doesn't matter- I can't sleep or I really can't sleep or I'm so exhausted that I can crash, usually the first two. I know she wants me to be a day person. I do too because I'm missing my life and family moments because of this shit. I didn't ask to be this way and I'm working damn hard just to keep pushing along with my happy face and pretend I'm not sick to death of being broken and penniless. I would drop the fake-ness but no one wants to be around someone who's miserable, not even the guy who's miserable. Besides, sometimes I can fake it enough that I can believe in it for a while.
-Andy-
"Life is Worth Dying For"
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